no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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