i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
