so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
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No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
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Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
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