There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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