Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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