Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
