what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
