I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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