You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
