All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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