...so i touched it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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