We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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