Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
