garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it's like iHOP with fire
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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