5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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