you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
