He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
