i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
