I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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