there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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