My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize