butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
