O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
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Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize