I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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