I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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