You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
