Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
this will be a night to untag.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
