so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
