I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize