my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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