Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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