and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
