make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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