Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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