please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
