another moral hangover. fuck.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize