You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
