Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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