You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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