I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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