I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
