I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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