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My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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