When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
