Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
