# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
