Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
