4 words: hood of his car
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
