There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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