He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize