And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
