I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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