Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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