even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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