Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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